Mrs. Collins Makes Stuff

Can a month be hormonal? I mean can it be super manic and imbalanced? Asking for a friend. July was one crazy up and down month. A metric ton of knitting happened. A metric ton of stress happened. A metric ton of Mrs. Collins done lost her mind happened. Holy wow, it was a weird month. It wasn’t all bad, but it wasn’t all good. And hey, did I say there was a lot of knitting?

Finished objects:

Bliss Shorts by Muki Craft. I knit these in Cascade Yarns Venezia Sport. These are amazing, but there is a separate post all about them.

On the Go Socks- contrast toe, cuff and heel. I knit these as the second half of my on the go socks experiment. They worked out great. I think I will write a brief post about how these worked out, as well, because I have some cool notes on what I did with the toes and heels. More to come.

Oaken Shawl by Tin Can Knits. I knit this using Urth Yarns that the Father brought me back from England. I have knit this shawl before, but I just checked and there is no blog post, so I guess that will be coming soon. I have some feelings about this pattern.

New cast-ons:

Thelma Top

Rota Top

Works in progress:

Highland Tunic

Vinca

Shatar Vest

Stalled out Knitting my memories blanket

Goals for next month:

Finish Highlights Tunic

Cast on something gorgeous and squishy

Don’t don’t die or lose my mind

Get answers about my health stuff

So, a lot of knitting occurred in July. With all the health crap that happened, that we will get to shortly, all that I was able to look at and focus on was knitting. I knit my favorite thing ever, the Bliss Shorts. As I said, there is a separate post for them, but they are SO fun to knit and I love them! The second pair of on-the-go socks were just as successful as the first. I do intend to write a second post so that I can really decide which method I prefer more and weigh out the pros and cons. The Oaken Shawl also needs a post. It will become evident why when I write it. Suffice it to say that the shawl is gorgeous and I love both of the shawls that I have knit, but I do not love knitting the pattern. I have stalled on knitting the Highlights Tunic dress. I hit an annoying part of the pattern, plus the weather has started to cool off so she has been in and out of time out. My hat knitting has lost some interest for now. As the weather cools off more I will get more into the charity and cold weather knitting spirit. Obviously, no sewing, though I am constantly wanting to sew something. Someday I will understand this ever present block I have about it.

Oh darling, July started out so good. We had 4th of July the first week. We went to the Mayberry parade and hung out with the normal crew, then went for beers at one of the regular spots, which is always fun. After that, we went to hang out next door and swim with the ladies. It was a really nice and chill day. That weekend there was an ArnoCorps show. We got the Nama-sitter and the Husband and I went out for a night on the town. There was a kerfuffle about when the show started and we ended up getting there about 3 hours early. We had some cocktails and were having a delightful time. My darling, your girl decided to test the limits. I fought the laws of my limits and the law won. I got so sick that we had to pull over so that I could evacuate on the side of the highway. That is VERY un-Mrs. Collins like behavior. The next week was Feebs’s 10th birthday! I cannot believe my girlie is 10. I am thrilled and sad at the same time. I took the middle of the week off to spend with her. For her present she got to trade her full size trundle bed for a twin size loft bed. She was incredibly excited and loves her new nest. Fortunately, Sister #1’s daughter wanted the full sized bed, so they came and picked it up and we got hang out for the day. We also did the over night in Santa Cruz, like she always wants to do. She was really funny, this time she didn’t want to go on the rides, she just wanted to play the games. That weekend was her birthday party. Mommy was such a hot mess express that I didn’t get my stuff together in time to actually plan a party. I booked the park in time, but didn’t get invitations out or get anything ordered in time for it to be a party. So at the zero hour I asked what else she wanted to do to make up for not having a party. I checked with our core people and they were all prepared to go where ever she wanted to go. She chose one of the trampoline places near us, then to lunch after. I won’t lie and say that it wasn’t 6 times more expensive than it would have been if I had actually planned the party that was supposed to be planned, but she loved every minute of it and it was so chill. So needless to say, the first half of July was really great. Come Monday the 15th, my world came crashing down. I had noticed the week before that the weird buzzy feeling from 2022 was back, but I didn’t pay much attention to it because it never turned into anything else in 2022, and I figured it would go away in a month or two. Well, July 15 proved me wrong. By the end of the day, my vision was horribly blurry and the gritty pain and pressure (similar to when I had optic neuritis) was back in my left side. The left side of my face and body was numb and I was dizzy and disoriented. I was having sporadic headaches and all kinds of fun stuff. I finally called my mom and asked her to take me to the ER because I was afraid I was having a stroke. That was the entire second part of July. Doctor’s appointments, tests, possible diagnoses, wrong diagnoses, and a whole lot of brush offs and “you’re fines” from specialists. Fortunately, I didn’t have a stroke. My lesions do not show any changes, so my disease does not seem to be progressing. I got some really crappy doctors, but my PCP is heaven sent and advocated for me the entire time. By the end of the month I still had no answers, was missing a ton of work, and felt like hot flaming garbage all the time. My family was trying their hardest to be my cheerleaders and keep me going. I had to stop driving, by my choice, which made me feel like a burden and helpless. Poor Feebs was scared and wasn’t sure what was happening. She was trying to be helpful and understanding, but she kept asking everyone if I was dying and if I would ever get better. We were all scared and frustrated. It was obvious I would get no answers that month, but I was going to keep asking for them. I was working at home a lot, or just missing whole or partial days. I missed a bunch of family stuff, cancelled Feebs stuff and was ever so pleasant to be around at home, I am sure. My mental health tanked. So all in all, the second half of the month was so fun. I could look at any screens, couldn’t read papers, couldn’t look out windshields. The only think I could do was knit. I realized that my knitting muscle memory is so built in that I can look at my knitting without having to focus on it, so that made knitting the only possible thing for me to do. That is the entire reason that I was so productive with knitting in July.

So, I can’t say that the entire month was terrible. It had so many beautiful parts, and so many terrible parts. I got to celebrate my girl, and see Sister #1’s family, be supported and loved by my family, and feel like I have a tribe of people standing behind me. At the same time I was fearful for my life, my mental health was a dumpster fire, and I was left holding an industrial size basket of questions that still are unanswered. July was really a mix bag. I am choosing to focus on the good though. I will be positive and embrace the fact that I have made it this far. Hopefully there are answers to come and more treatment that will be useful to me.

Loves,

M

P.S. you will notice that the posting date of this is months after July. This couldn’t be helped for a series of reasons. July- October will all be a bit messy and overlapping due to the ongoing health bull-shit that is still unfolding. Good times, darling. Good times.