March was kind of a blur, to be honest. I’m not sure why, but it always seems like February through April just vanish. Thanks to you, darling, I have documented evidence that things do happen in these months each year. But it always seems like I survive the holidays, get through January, blink a couple of times and then it’s May or June. There was a lot of knitting, but no finishing, sadly. I got super close, but horseshoes and hand grenades, am I right…?
Works in progress:
Calliope #2
Sock re-make for Feebs
Kaylen Mesh Scarf
Gingerbraid
Highlands Tunic Dress
Shatar vest
Goals for next month:
Keep knitting, keep making
Find joy in knitting again
Complete knitting
Start another big (quantity) yarn project
So I did knit a lot this month. Calliope saw some real progress. I think sizing mistakes were made, but we will find out when she is done and blocked. I am still hanging onto my WIP projects, thought I go back and forth about what to do with Gingerbraid and Shatar. I think I may really love Shatar and that is why I refuse to rip her out and call her quits. At the same time thinking about doing fingering weight colorwork makes me want to vomit, so she stays in a timeout. I only have to finish the high neck and shoulders of the Highland dress, but I put her away for the colder weather. Hopefully I I will finish her once it starts to warm up. That dress has been one oops after another, but I think I will be happy with the finished products, so she can sit for a bit longer. Gingerbraid… I am just not sure about. I feel like I should just suck it up and work on it, but it was too complicated for my addled brain, when I cast it on. Now I am just not sure that I will enjoy wearing it. She may get the frog pond. Feebs socks just pissed me off, to be honest. That child’s feet are growing at an unnatural pace and I feel like it will be a waste to finish them now. I will have to add so much toe in contrast, that they will look ridiculous by the time they are done. Especially since it is warming up and she won’t be wanting wool socks any time soon. I feel like a bad mama, but they really do seem doomed. We will see where her feet are when the weather turns in the fall. There is absolutely no excuse for the Kaylen Mesh scarf to still be unfinished. Seven months have passed since her birthday. I know in my heart of hearts that the reason it is is because once it comes off I have to cut one million fringe and knot and string one million beads. I don’t know why I picked something so fiddley, and I don’t know how I thought (at the very chaotic time) that I would finish it in 10 days. My ego at that time was laughable and mighty. That really needs to be the next WIP that I complete. I need to get that off the needles and on to my sister’s neck. I also need to fall in love with knitting again. The last 8 months did a complete seek and destroy of my center of balance, in every aspect of my life, and I really need to regain a new normal. One that involves my beloved knitting. I need to feel like me again. I need to think of my next cast-on. Something from my queue, something that I have mapped out that made my heart sing enough to make a plan for it. I don’t know what she will be yet, but she needs to come to fruition soon.
March was blurry. There weren’t a bunch of highs and lows, which was a nice change. I am still adjusting meds, which sucks, but I guess we’ll get dialed in at some point. We spent the first weekend with the O’s. It was a little bittersweet. I am seeing a divide starting between Feebs and her bestie. They are growing up at different speeds and I fear that one will be left behind. I had also had the series of steroid infusions that week, which did not make for a chill and relaxing weekend. To put it mildly, I was a complete bitch to everyone and everything. Thank God for tolerant friends. The following week I went to the eye doctor. He said there isn’t anything wrong with my vision at this point (hallelujah!) but that he would like to continue to follow my case since it looks like things are getting interesting. That is fine by me, since the more specialists I have on my side, the better. That weekend was pretty chill. We were busy prepping for the upcoming house work. We finally tore down that horrible shed and got that staged for the dump. We moved the dreaded sandbags and got some of the yard cleaned up. The following weekend was a lovely visit with Ms. Bell. We have spent a ridiculous time apart, considering how close we live to each other. There really is no excuse for it. We caught up and have sworn to not let time get away from us again. We are shooting for another lunch in June. The following weekend included some Ladies Night time. There is a lot of sorrow and drama on the Northern front and we are standing by to be supportive and give all that we can to help hold up our girl. She is really going through it and we are there with wine glasses, tissues, or shovels, depending on what she needs most. We did more work in the yard, getting rid of the dump stuff, another ton on of concrete (I can’t tell you how much I loathe the person that used it in all of their landscaping projects), and got rid of more yard debris. We also did a pizza night with the McC crew. That is always a nice time. Our lives are so busy, but we find time as we can. I spent the whole month waiting for it to be over so I could get to my April 1 appointment and find out my official diagnosis and next steps. I must say I am ready to get to it so I can get on with it.
This month felt very lackluster and very vanilla compared to every other month in the recent past. I won’t say it didn’t have challenges, and it wasn’t restful. I fear I am no longer a restful person. It feels like I am jumping from one crisis to the next, without much time for rest. Maybe I am just in a gray kind of mood, hard to tell these days.
Perhaps it’s time to try to change my dialogue a bit. Perhaps I need to start looking for something to be happy about at the end of each month. I am happy that I survived March, without much excitement. I am happy for my family and for the love and acceptance they show me and my ever evolving person. I am grateful.
Loves,
M
Mrs. Collins Makes Stuff 