Author: mmcollins107

2024- A year in review

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That is a wrap on 2024. Last year was… Let’s call it complex and interesting, and leave it at that for the intro. Making was great the first half of the year, then it died a slow and painful death the second half. The rollercoaster that my mind and health took was a level of not fun that I hadn’t anticipated and I want my money back. The grief and mourning that I had to watch my loved ones experience was heartbreaking. The battles that I watched them go through and the new lights that I was forced to look at people in were both shocking and painful. I am not sure that things will ever really be the same after this year.

That being said it didn’t all fall apart. There definitely rays of sunshine through the clouds, and good memories were made in there too. From a making standpoint I did make quite a lot in the first half of the year. Ravelry reports that I only made 15 things, but I believe I didn’t log quite a few things, like a baby sweater, a hat for Feebs, socks, and a several charity knits. Oh well. I only sewed one thing, and that was the game bag in January out of the recycled man-pants. I am still ridiculously proud of that thing.

My total for the year:

Two tops: Home Camisole & Rota top

Three hats: Honey Pie Hat, Tundra for Feebs, & Everyday Slouchy Beanie

Two pairs of socks: On the Go socks- End to End & Contrast Heal and Toe

Three Sweaters: Zipper Sweater- Man, Flax- Adult (me), Flax- baby

Cowl/ Shawl/ Wrap: Paris in Berlin, Oaken Shawl, & Lakeside Beach Wrap

Charity knitting: Hats & washcloths

Bottoms: Bliss Shorts

Accessories: Purl Pouch & Barebones Fingerless Mitts

Sewing: Gaming bag

So, not as shabby as Ravelry claims, but not as good as my challenge, and certainly not a good as most other years. I am so close to finishing the Highlights Tunic dress, but the weather is cold and I have no motivation to finish it right now. I really need to get Sister #3’s shawl finished and gifted to her. I want to finish Feebs’s socks and give them to her. And I still want to start something super squishy and delightful that warms my hands and soul. But I am just not quite there yet. That is a big hope for 2025. I want to get that spark back. I finished 2024 and didn’t knit a single sweater in the second half of the year to keep me warm in the winter. That is heartbreaking. Nothing makes me happier than a newly knit sweater for the cold months. The hardest thing with making this year was losing the desire to knit that hit me in August/ September. Knitting is my therapy and my happy place, so losing that threw me into a tailspin.

The year as a whole seemed to be about death and decompensation. Between the actual loss of life that we struggled through in Spring, then onto loss of health and what felt like loss of sanity, the year just felt very steeped in sorrow and fear. I spent the year feeling like I didn’t fit in my skin. Like at any second something would happen and either it would shrink wrap me or shred to pieces and I would be no more. I think I have never felt so out of control of my own person before. I struggled like never before, and my family had to stand by and watch me fall to pieces.

So while that was such a shiny and bright overview of how I felt about my place in 2024, there were definitely some highlights and life lessons that survived.

  1. I have always know that I come from a solid foundation. My people, some blood some not, are my rock. They held me together when nothing else was. It is so crucial to always surround myself with my core people. At the same time, I need to be sure that I am that same level of solid for them.
  2. I can only fight against my own brain and body for so long. I can only swim up my own stream of consciousness for so long before I collapse from exhaustion. At some point I may even realize that fighting against my best health interests isn’t benefiting me. My body and mind need rest, and eventually they will just take it.
  3. Stress can and will kill me if I let it. I can’t fix the world’s problems, I can’t fix all of my loved one’s problems, and I can’t fix all of my health problems. I can only control what I can and I HAVE TO LET THE REST GO. I can’t keep allowing myself to be pulled into other people’s crisis’s. I will offer my help, set boundaries, and hold those boundaries. If they decide to act on their issues only once they become crisis’s, then they may have to resolve them on their own. Every adult in my life is smart and capable and can handle their own lives. If they need my help, they will ask. I will not intrude in their lives in an attempt to fix their issues.
  4. I very painfully learned this year about who I can count on. This was a good and bad thing. I needed to know who would stand up when push comes to shove, and now I know. At the same time, it was crushing to find out that people I always thought were part of my ride of die crew were all talk.
  5. Asking for help doesn’t make me incapable of handling my own business. I learned that this year and while it got on my very last nerve, I had to stop and ask for help. There were times that I physically could not perform a task, or at least not safely. I don’t think that it makes a person weak to ask for help, but I am used to being able to take care of everything on my own. 2024 proved me wrong and I had to hand over control of the reigns, several times. I won’t lie, it pissed me off, but it was necessary and I am so incredibly grateful that my people stepped up to help when it was needed.
  6. I already knew this, but I was reminded last year, that nothing lasts forever. Your best days pass and your worst days pass. You just have to either remember them or survive them and things will change. New things will always be coming and good, bad or indifferent there will be new memories to make and new adventures to experience. Nothing stays bad forever.

I would love to say that by the final day of 2024, everything was resolved and the curtain closed on a happy ending. Nope, that wasn’t quite the case. However, I spent the last day and eve of 2024 with the two halves of my heart and our best friends. We rang in the 2025, as we do every year. We toasted to good things up ahead and we said farewell to the year that put all of us through the ringer. We went into the New Year with quiet optimism and all of the tools that we had acquired from the last year. Out with the old and in with the new.

I love my people. I love our traditions and adventures. I love everything I have in life and the optimism that things will change. I am happy to say that I survived another year. I am thrilled to say that (spoiler alert!) I may be getting back some of my making spark in 2025, and that big health changes may be on the way. It won’t always be bleak and sorrow. Time makes change and I will change with it. Let’s head into the next chapter.

Loves,

M

My goals for 2025- Home

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Writing the next year’s goals is usually one of my favorite posts to write. I love thinking about the next year and figuring out what I want to focus on and what I want to accomplish. This year just hits different. To be very honest, 2024 knocked the air completely out of my sails and I am still trying to find my way through the storm.

What I came out knowing for sure is that the word that has selected me for 2025 is Home. I have given it some thought and Home means my physical house and all of the projects that we have scheduled for it this year. It means my body and the place I, Mrs. Collins, live my physical life. My mind, where I live my mental, spiritual, and wellness life. My family/ marriage/ friendships where my heart lives. These are all the places that I call home. I want to spend more time at Home this year. I want to spend more care and attention on Home this year. I want to tend to those places and the prized possessions they hold. I want to clean out closets and rid the corners of crap that I don’t need to haul around with me any more. I want comfort and organization and calm.

I want to revamp our budget and focus on cutting out a lot of the frivolous spending. I am not taking it down to bare bones, to the penny budgeting. I just want to cut back on dining out and Amazon purchases. I have goals of building up our savings, paying off my car, and having a nice down payment for the new truck as soon as the car payment is gone. We will also have a significant HELOC monthly payment due to the massive home project. It is much needed, but I am NOT looking forward to the cost. I feel like we make too much to feel so broke all of the time. It is time to reign it in.

I have no control of the health stuff, so I won’t mention any goals of treatment or getting better. I will say that I would like to crawl out of the slump that I am in about motivation and energy. I need to move. My body and my mind need to move. I feel myself beginning to rust. That is causing body aches, digestive problems, and overall depression. I also fear that I am starting to lose too much weight. I need to find ways to cheer myself on. I have no idea how I am supposed to fight my brain, but I am a pretty tough cookie when I need to be, so I have to figure it out.

I won’t set any real making goals, only that I continue to try to find things that feel right. Like making socks, if that is all I can work on. I need to keep making, so I will find options that work for me while I am feeling this way. If I don’t blaze trails or end up with 25 WIPs, oh well. At some point, I should get back to old me, and she loves a good old fashioned WIP pile to work through. We’ll get there eventually.

I am sure if I was less tired all of the time and had more pep in my metaphoric step, this would be more eloquent and have more goals. However, this is now and this is me now. I can’t force my brain to do anything that it can’t do lately. I can say that I am hopeful that things will get figured out, health-wise. I hope that all of my tests reveal something useful and that when they do, I can get onto treatment that will allow me to be a fully functioning human again. I don’t need to be Super-Collins again, but a nice rounded Competent-Collins would be nice. January will be the first step to new answers, so here is hoping they are helpful answers.

All in all, these are simple goals that I think/ hope I can achieve. I am not out to set the world on fire, just make changes in myself and my life. I can’t say that my family is thrilled about the budget cuts, but these are very first world problems and they will easily adjust. Plus the goals benefit them as much as anyone. Fingers crossed that 2025 is a calm and happy year. I could certainly use a big hug of calm.

Loves,

M

All the makes- December 2024

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December went out quietly and the year is complete. Holy crap the year was a brutal one, but it is over and done and as the great Snoop Dog once said, “we can chill to the next episode.” I have higher but still realistic hopes for 2025. Making for this month still wasn’t good. I didn’t finish anything and I stalled on the one thing that I started on. I am still working to find a spark that can ignite my want to craft again. Hopefully the new year will have some changes that can bring back some of that old part of me.

New cast ons:

Gingerbraid

Sock remakes for Feebs

Works in progress:

Shatar Vest

Highlights Dress (timeout)

Knithouse Cardigan

Kaylen Mesh Scarf

Barebones Mitts

Goals for next month:

Finish the mitts

Finish Feebs’ socks

Finish all purging/ cleaning projects

Find a happy project

Finish budget project

Well darling, not much happened in the making department this month. Actually, that’s not true. I had a bit of a realization. Due to the mental symptoms that include the shit memory and inability to have a concentration level above that of a goldfish, it occurred to me that any knitting project that I try to tackle right now will have to be incredibly simple and involve a lot of muscle memory. Hence I decided to pull out some socks I never wear because they are far too loose on me and rip them out and knit new socks for Feebs. She asked for new socks, and she loves the yarn so I am close to starting the heal on both socks since I am knitting them two at a time. I think I will have to stick with socks and hats, since I can basically knit them by muscle memory with very little counting or memorization. Hopefully once my treatments change I will get my cognition back and I can move back to more complex things. (Fingers VERY crossed!)

Let’s try to recall what happened in December, shall we? The first week was very mellow and was all about getting ready for the upcoming holidays. I felt prepared pretty early this year, which is very unusual for me, as I am always scrambling at the last minute. The second week got a bit more exciting with our work holiday party. Many people participated and it was a lot of fun. The following day was my doctors appointments for my usual 6-month treatment. This is the first time the Husband went with me so that was an eye opening experience for him. The dose was doubled by my new doctor and it took me out of commission for over the weekend and into next week. The Mother also had an eye doctor appointment where they cauterized her tear ducts that week, so we are a collective hot mess. The following week was a superfluous appointment with a dietitian who agreed that most of my issues are either life-long genetic or specifically caused by medications that I’m currently taking that will stop once I am able to stop taking the meds. I had a lovely “thank you” lunch with the work ladies for putting on a fantastic holiday party. They do an amazing job each year and it would be a fraction of what it is if they didn’t do it. Then I got a whole bunch of hair cut off in the crusade to get rid of all of the color-treated hair before April. My hair is currently short and choppy/ shaggy. It doesn’t look bad, but I am over it being short now. I seem to keep having her go shorter and shorter at each hair cut. I just want it gone so that I can be done with it and move on to my next stage, whatever that will be. The next day, Kennard came over. It was so good to see them. We always enjoy hanging out with them. They brought Feebs a Lego set for Christmas and she was so excited about it. We had Pakistani food for dinner and chill conversation and laughs. The day after that was the big Family Christmas party. It was really good to see everyone We saw all of the sibs, the cousins, and next generations. Everyone had a great time. As usual, we didn’t stay for the games, as usual, the Brother gave me shit about it. Oh well, a good time was still had. We had one day of rest, in which I started to get an itch to start to declutter and purge. We started with Feebs’ books and her room and closet (and didn’t it spin out from there over the next month!). The following night we had the Husband’s side gathering. It was awesome. We thought we were just meeting up with his cousin for dinner, but it turned out to be a bunch of them. That was Christmas week. I worked all week, since I was taking the following week off. We kept if very low key and stayed home for everything but dinner on Christmas day. The Mother came with us and we found a seafood place that was open. We cut back on gifts this year, but no one noticed and we all had a great day. We had SIL #1 and family over for snacks and Winter Comforts that week and had a great visit. We had the Silver cousin come stay for a the weekend and we always love her visits. I am hoping that she will be back a couple of times before she moves to Japan before next year. We had a couple of adventure meals with her and she gave me the coolest gift EVER! She was able to get the After Dark Games to work on my computer. I don’t understand her wizardry, but I know that she was able to do some kind of magic to get it to work, and I am sooo excited about it. I never thought I would get to play Roof Rats again! I always take the week after Christmas week off, so I was thrilled to be off for nine whole days. Unfortunately, there is always unfinished school work to contend with, but we did get it done in time to have some free days. Feebs and I got some errands done and we had some great mommy and Feebs time. We got to spend NYE with our favorite people ever and ring in the new year with chosen family. The Male O got a job, which was definitely something to celebrate. The girls got to celebrate their 10th NYE together. We got to spend a couple of days with the Father and have our traditional mini-golf night. I had dinner with the Female McC all by myself, which was lovely and much needed. Then the weekend was spent getting everything ready to head back to school and work. All in all, it was a really great week off.

December is passed and the year is over, and I say farewell to them both. 2024 will be summed up separately, but what a turbulent year. December felt like a bit of a waiting room, honestly. I have a lot of tests and appointments (hopefully with answers and game plans) coming up in January, so December has felt like a hurdle that had to be jumped. I am ready for calm waters and fresh starts in the new year and mind is set for a bit of peace. Thanks for the memories, December, but let’s move on.

Loves,

M

P.S. The Husband has reported that after forty-three years of life and thirteen years together, I have become a snuggler in my sleep. I am in complete disbelief and am very bothered by this.

All the makes August- November 2024

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Well darling, I did warn you that things went way off the rails. I am sad to report that nothing has really improved. In fact things have gone more off track along the way. Making in all forms has derailed. So has my attention span, my enjoyment of all things, my memory, my ability to word in written or verbal form, and pretty much anything that makes sense in my head. On the good side of things, I am starting to get answers and will hopefully be switching treatment to match my new diagnosis (really weird switch, after almost 8 years). Once that switch has been made and all other weird ailments have been addressed, hopefully I will be on my way to the old regular Mrs. Collins insanity.

Finished Objects:

Rota Top by Irene Lin. I knit this Rowan Summerlite DK. This top looks so fancy and complicated, but it honestly wasn’t. Well, fancy yes, but not complicated. There may be a separate post.

I knit an Everyday Slouchy Beanie by Dragon Hoard Designs for a teacher’s Christmas gift, but totally forgot to take pictures of it before we gifted it. It was knit in To the Mack’s yarn held double with a cream silk mohair. It turned out gorgeous. It would have been fantastic if my ridiculous self would have remembered to take a picture…

New Cast Ons:

Kaylen Mesh Scarf

Barebones Mitts

Works in Progress:

Highlights tunic dress

Thelma top

Vinca hat

Goals for next month:

Find a groove with making

Find a decadent cast on

NY Cast on

2025 making goals

That is all I have made in four months (I think). I even cast on the Kaylen Mesh Shawl for Sister #3’s 50th birthday, in October, and have yet to complete it. My mojo has gone on an extended vacation. For a while, knitting was the only thing that I was able to do, then almost over night any urge I had to do anything completely fled. I have been trying desperately to find something to knit that sparks my fancy. I have scoured Ravelry a few times looking for some kind of inspiration to strike and make my soul want to cast on and knit my heart out. It hasn’t worked so far, but I will keep hope. Thank goodness at the last second I was able to find the umph to knock out the teacher hat for Feebs’s teacher and complete 98% of her 25th day of Advent gift. Those will show up in December’s post because I have the tiniest bit of finishing work to do that I need her hand size to complete. I am frustrated and a bit sad at my lack of knitting joy, but I am hopeful that big change is on the horizon and that my long time love affair with knitting with be back on shortly.

Everything since July has been a giant blur, so I will have to suffice with the highlights and skip the small fun details. In August we had our big family bbq. Unfortunately I was still in a peak health crisis and had to take Dramamine in order to make the 2-hour car ride to Sister #2’s house. To say I was not quite with it is the understatement of the decade. My nephews kept checking on me to be sure I was okay. The week after that, Feebs started 5th grade. I can’t believed my baby is in her last year of elementary school. Good God, time has flown by! We also had a weekend with the O’s, which was nice. Ms. Jan had a major health crisis and scared the hell out of all of us, so we went up to see them instead of them coming to us. We didn’t mind the switch and enjoyed our time. September started with Sister #2’s 50th and Mimi’s 10th birthdays. We had a wonderful time celebrating them. October was complete and total insanity. We went on our annual trek to Mendocino and had an amazing time. It was full of naps and chill. It wasn’t a reset, but it was a relax that I desperately needed. Right after that came Sister #3’s 50th birthday party and it was a fabulous time. We had so much fun and it was exactly what she wanted it to be. I saw friends of my sisters that I hadn’t seen since they got married, who have known me since I was 9. It was so much fun. The following weekend was the Husband’s 50th birthday party. We rented a house in West Lake Tahoe and had the O’s, the Mark, and the NH peeps, but only he came. We spent three days up there and had so much fun. The Husband had the best time. He said it was exactly what he wanted and it turned out how he had envisioned. I can’t tell you how happy that made me. November started with the Mother and I going on our trip to Reno for her late birthday. We spent 5 days there and we had the best time. I had to go nasty awful shopping, but it was necessary and now it is done for another 6 years. We had a horrible drive home in the snow, but we survived and all is well. For Thanksgiving the Mother joined us for a dinner out at a local Italian restaurant. I loved this arrangement. No one had to stress or cook or make a fuss. We went to a lovely restaurant and had delicious food. Then we went home and were in our jammies by 7:30 pm. I think this may be a tradition.

So this is the Cliff’s notes of 4 months. I am sure I am missing a ton of highlights and amazing lowlights, but that is all that my memory can recall. I am still very frustrated with the lack of interest in doing things, knitting especially, but I am trying to be kind to myself. I am being patient and not allowing myself to be critical, mostly because I have absolutely no decision in the matter. I will keep scrolling on Ravelry and continue to look for inspiration and motivation. I will periodically creep my yarn stash and caress pretty yarn to try to make myself crave the feel of it in my hands. I will even review some of my sweaters and see if there is anything in my collection that I simply must have in other colors or textures (I’m looking at you, Calliope). My mojo will come back as will my health and my brain, if there is a kind universe.

So that wraps it up. December should be a bit more detailed and clear. So far I hope to have separate posts for Bliss Shorts and Rota Top by end of year or early New Year. I hope in December I can talk about falling in love with a sexy little new cast on and how I am so in love with her and how happy she is making me. I also hope to talk about my goals for 2025 and how excited I am for it. We’ll see what comes next.

Loves,

M

All the makes- July 2024

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Can a month be hormonal? I mean can it be super manic and imbalanced? Asking for a friend. July was one crazy up and down month. A metric ton of knitting happened. A metric ton of stress happened. A metric ton of Mrs. Collins done lost her mind happened. Holy wow, it was a weird month. It wasn’t all bad, but it wasn’t all good. And hey, did I say there was a lot of knitting?

Finished objects:

Bliss Shorts by Muki Craft. I knit these in Cascade Yarns Venezia Sport. These are amazing, but there is a separate post all about them.

On the Go Socks- contrast toe, cuff and heel. I knit these as the second half of my on the go socks experiment. They worked out great. I think I will write a brief post about how these worked out, as well, because I have some cool notes on what I did with the toes and heels. More to come.

Oaken Shawl by Tin Can Knits. I knit this using Urth Yarns that the Father brought me back from England. I have knit this shawl before, but I just checked and there is no blog post, so I guess that will be coming soon. I have some feelings about this pattern.

New cast-ons:

Thelma Top

Rota Top

Works in progress:

Highland Tunic

Vinca

Shatar Vest

Stalled out Knitting my memories blanket

Goals for next month:

Finish Highlights Tunic

Cast on something gorgeous and squishy

Don’t don’t die or lose my mind

Get answers about my health stuff

So, a lot of knitting occurred in July. With all the health crap that happened, that we will get to shortly, all that I was able to look at and focus on was knitting. I knit my favorite thing ever, the Bliss Shorts. As I said, there is a separate post for them, but they are SO fun to knit and I love them! The second pair of on-the-go socks were just as successful as the first. I do intend to write a second post so that I can really decide which method I prefer more and weigh out the pros and cons. The Oaken Shawl also needs a post. It will become evident why when I write it. Suffice it to say that the shawl is gorgeous and I love both of the shawls that I have knit, but I do not love knitting the pattern. I have stalled on knitting the Highlights Tunic dress. I hit an annoying part of the pattern, plus the weather has started to cool off so she has been in and out of time out. My hat knitting has lost some interest for now. As the weather cools off more I will get more into the charity and cold weather knitting spirit. Obviously, no sewing, though I am constantly wanting to sew something. Someday I will understand this ever present block I have about it.

Oh darling, July started out so good. We had 4th of July the first week. We went to the Mayberry parade and hung out with the normal crew, then went for beers at one of the regular spots, which is always fun. After that, we went to hang out next door and swim with the ladies. It was a really nice and chill day. That weekend there was an ArnoCorps show. We got the Nama-sitter and the Husband and I went out for a night on the town. There was a kerfuffle about when the show started and we ended up getting there about 3 hours early. We had some cocktails and were having a delightful time. My darling, your girl decided to test the limits. I fought the laws of my limits and the law won. I got so sick that we had to pull over so that I could evacuate on the side of the highway. That is VERY un-Mrs. Collins like behavior. The next week was Feebs’s 10th birthday! I cannot believe my girlie is 10. I am thrilled and sad at the same time. I took the middle of the week off to spend with her. For her present she got to trade her full size trundle bed for a twin size loft bed. She was incredibly excited and loves her new nest. Fortunately, Sister #1’s daughter wanted the full sized bed, so they came and picked it up and we got hang out for the day. We also did the over night in Santa Cruz, like she always wants to do. She was really funny, this time she didn’t want to go on the rides, she just wanted to play the games. That weekend was her birthday party. Mommy was such a hot mess express that I didn’t get my stuff together in time to actually plan a party. I booked the park in time, but didn’t get invitations out or get anything ordered in time for it to be a party. So at the zero hour I asked what else she wanted to do to make up for not having a party. I checked with our core people and they were all prepared to go where ever she wanted to go. She chose one of the trampoline places near us, then to lunch after. I won’t lie and say that it wasn’t 6 times more expensive than it would have been if I had actually planned the party that was supposed to be planned, but she loved every minute of it and it was so chill. So needless to say, the first half of July was really great. Come Monday the 15th, my world came crashing down. I had noticed the week before that the weird buzzy feeling from 2022 was back, but I didn’t pay much attention to it because it never turned into anything else in 2022, and I figured it would go away in a month or two. Well, July 15 proved me wrong. By the end of the day, my vision was horribly blurry and the gritty pain and pressure (similar to when I had optic neuritis) was back in my left side. The left side of my face and body was numb and I was dizzy and disoriented. I was having sporadic headaches and all kinds of fun stuff. I finally called my mom and asked her to take me to the ER because I was afraid I was having a stroke. That was the entire second part of July. Doctor’s appointments, tests, possible diagnoses, wrong diagnoses, and a whole lot of brush offs and “you’re fines” from specialists. Fortunately, I didn’t have a stroke. My lesions do not show any changes, so my disease does not seem to be progressing. I got some really crappy doctors, but my PCP is heaven sent and advocated for me the entire time. By the end of the month I still had no answers, was missing a ton of work, and felt like hot flaming garbage all the time. My family was trying their hardest to be my cheerleaders and keep me going. I had to stop driving, by my choice, which made me feel like a burden and helpless. Poor Feebs was scared and wasn’t sure what was happening. She was trying to be helpful and understanding, but she kept asking everyone if I was dying and if I would ever get better. We were all scared and frustrated. It was obvious I would get no answers that month, but I was going to keep asking for them. I was working at home a lot, or just missing whole or partial days. I missed a bunch of family stuff, cancelled Feebs stuff and was ever so pleasant to be around at home, I am sure. My mental health tanked. So all in all, the second half of the month was so fun. I could look at any screens, couldn’t read papers, couldn’t look out windshields. The only think I could do was knit. I realized that my knitting muscle memory is so built in that I can look at my knitting without having to focus on it, so that made knitting the only possible thing for me to do. That is the entire reason that I was so productive with knitting in July.

So, I can’t say that the entire month was terrible. It had so many beautiful parts, and so many terrible parts. I got to celebrate my girl, and see Sister #1’s family, be supported and loved by my family, and feel like I have a tribe of people standing behind me. At the same time I was fearful for my life, my mental health was a dumpster fire, and I was left holding an industrial size basket of questions that still are unanswered. July was really a mix bag. I am choosing to focus on the good though. I will be positive and embrace the fact that I have made it this far. Hopefully there are answers to come and more treatment that will be useful to me.

Loves,

M

P.S. you will notice that the posting date of this is months after July. This couldn’t be helped for a series of reasons. July- October will all be a bit messy and overlapping due to the ongoing health bull-shit that is still unfolding. Good times, darling. Good times.

Bliss Shorts

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Hello darling. I knit the Bliss Shorts by Muki Crafts, and they are bliss. Oh my goodness, they are adorable! I honestly think these shorts are in the top 5 of my favorite things I have ever knit. I haven’t even worn them out yet and I still love them to the moon and back. They are knit using Cascade Yarns Venezia Sport. I started a Dream Knitting post (which I haven’t even finished) and wrote about how I wanted to tackle more things on my bingo card and one of them was how I wanted to knit shorts. I started to peruse Ravelry for patterns and one thing led to another and before you know it I was pairing the Venezia with the Bliss shorts and the rest was history. I bought the yarn several years ago when I was still in denial that lavender is not a great color on me.

What went right: basically everything, honestly. These knit up fairly fast. They are a deceptively a lot of knitting and took me 14 days to complete. There are pockets and a ribbon drawstring. They are all stockinette with a cable bind off, and I was afraid they would roll. I was pleasantly surprised that I was able to block them aggressively and they don’t roll at all. The pants are flowy and the legs are heavy enough not to crawl up when walking.

What went wrong: I can’t say anything went really wrong. I ordered ribbon shoe laces and I ordered the wrong size so I had to splice them together in order to get them to fit around my waist/ hips. The only thing that isn’t completely finished on these shorts is the pockets. I have left a loose end on both of them so I can see how the pocket hangs as I wear them. I need to see if I am going to tack the pockets in place or let them hang loose. I had pockets in a knit sweater, years ago, and the pocket always turned out as I wore the sweater. I want to see if that happens with the shorts. The downside is that when you tack them in place, it pulls the stitches and you see it from the right side. We will see.

So that is it. I love these things so much, and I can’t wait to wear them! I am hopeful that the yarn will wear well and not be horribly hot. I have faith it won’t pill horribly where the chub rubs. I am also really happy that the lavender yarn can be put to good use away from my face. I think it will be put to great use at another part of my body. Hooray for more semi-deep stash yarn being put to good use! And for another box on the Bingo card being checked off!

Loves,

M

All the makes- June 2024

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It seems like I was just here. I posted May yesterday, and here I am posting June. June was another good month. Lots happened and a lot of knitting was finished. I didn’t get to some of the mending projects that I had in mind, but it was okay. I still accomplished a lot. I even read a hard-cover book for the first time in many months. I read The International House of Dereliction by Jacqueline Davies. It is a kids book that I pulled off the shelf while waiting for Feebs at the library. It ended up be an amazing book!

Finished Objects:

Lakeside Beach Wrap by Knitatude. I knit this in recycled cotton yarn from an L.L. Bean sweater. There is a separate post about this.

Charity knitting- three wash clothes and a vanilla hat. I went through my scrap basket and retrieved all of the leftover balls of cotton yarn and used up three of them on the clothes. The hat was started probably a year ago and was left in the basket. The hat took about three hours and the clothes about one hour each.

New cast-ons:

Oaken Shawl

Highlights Tunic & Tee

Works in Progress:

On the go socks

Shatar vest

Vinca hat

Knit house cardigan

Goals for next month:

Read one physical book each month

Budget and savings

Sew the York Pinafore

Move my home workstation and create a space

Knitting was very good this month. I pulled out the yarn that the Father brought me from England and cast on the Oaken Shawl by Tin Can Knits. I promptly remembered how much I hate knitting that shawl, but I know that it going to be gorgeous and worth it. I messed up a row two rows back, so she is currently in a time out but she is like 60% done. I cast on and knit the super cool and cute Lakeside Beach Wrap, using the recycled cotton sweater yarn and I 100% love it. I have a separate post where I wax philosophical about it, so I won’t gush too much here. Let it be said, I am going to love wearing it. I also cast on the Highlights Tunic & Tee pattern, intending to knit the tunic/ dress version. I think I am going to play some serious yarn chicken, but I think it will be worth it. It will be a beautiful dress once it’s done. I did some charity knitting, finally, and used up some more cotton yarn. I have one more ball of cotton waiting, so that will be next on the list of charity knits. I also did a pretty big de-stash of Corynn’s yarn and was able to donate it. That knocked down my Ravelry stash and let me move yarn that I wasn’t interested in out of my house and onto someone who will love it. I didn’t do any sewing, but I think I have the York Pinafore sizing figured out, so will hopefully tackle that in July. I also think I have a plan to upcycle one of the Father’s old dress shirts. I really hope I do. I think he would get a kick out of seeing his shirt come back to life. Extra points if I can finish it by the family bbq in August. Fortunately/ unfortunately I created a hole in the seam of one my t-shirts when cutting out a tag, so I have to break out the serger anyway. Hopefully this will give me a push to sew something.

The first weekend in June ended up being pretty chill. I thought that was a great start to the week. Feebs and I have continued our rock climbing adventures and that has been a lot of fun. That week we got to see our east coast friends and have dinner with them. I really miss having them close. That week was the last week of school and the week was pretty packed. Feebs did great with her end of year stuff. We will really miss Ms. Exner. She made 4th grade manageable and really helped Feebs stay on track. I did not get Betty’s sleeves altered before our camping trip, but the camping trip happened anyway. It wasn’t nearly as cold as it was last year, which was a relief. I also go much smarter and bought new cots for Feebs and I and new sleeping bags. We had our -10 degree mummy bags inside of -10 degree full size sleeping bags. We all slept better this year. I got sun burned like what, but it was my own fault for not wearing sun screen. We all had a good time and the girls enjoyed being together. The O’s and I did decide that we wanted to camp somewhere more inland next year. The Husband isn’t thrilled, but each year someone freezes and that is just exhausting. We left camping and jammed home to get to a niece’s college graduation party. We haven’t seen that side of the family in a long time and it was really good to catch up with everyone. I even got to snuggle a brand new little bean. She was scrumptious! That week was really busy and ended up with my 6-month infusion treatment. That is never a fun day. It hit me really hard this time and made me tired and draggy for the next couple of days. The next day, the Husband went to partake in the grand closet opening at this Dad’s house. There were some funny stories that came from it, and a lot of treasures came home with him. The following day was the ash scattering on the ocean in Pacifica. I did much better than I thought I would, probably because I was trying to distract Feebs. Boats really aren’t my thing. I am a total land-dweller. I didn’t get sick and I think my father in law would have been happy that his family did that for him. While I didn’t get seasick on the boat, I was for three days after. It was crazy. I haven’t had that happen before. It was pretty miserable. My heel pain and sciatica increased to a level that I needed to go to the doctor. Being in your mid-40s totally rocks… I now have to wear shoes at all times, even around the house. It has helped a lot, actually. The sciatica pain comes and goes, and I find that sitting on my couch makes it worse. We had a holiday mid-week and Feebs wanted a sleep over with Nama, which was just fine with us. The Husband and I had a nice dinner out, and got to stay up later than usual, since I didn’t have to do drop off in the morning. The Mother and Feebs have been doing one overnight per week, now that school is out. She is supposed to be teaching her to sew a dress, and I am really excited to see how Feebs likes it. On the Friday I did something new and crazy! I went out with a new friend and we went to a concert. It wasn’t a band that I had heard of, but we had a good time. I was really frazzled all night because 1. the Husband wasn’t with me and I had never been to a show alone, and 2. the Husband convinced me to put my cards on my phone and not take them with me. I therefore forgot my ID and couldn’t pay for anything that didn’t have a tap function. I think I messed up the vibe of the evening, and I am not sure that she will want to go out with me again. That sucks, because she is really cool and we got along even with the 11 year age gap. Oh well, I know that I am not for everyone. That weekend we went to see the Uncle. He took us to Cisero’s and we got to catch up little. He and family will come to dinner in July for chicken marsala, his favorite. That Sunday Feebs got sick. Poor bean was sick all week. She had a low fever and the sniffles. She ended up staying with the Mother all week. I missed her like crazy. It was weird being home without her for that long. I really enjoyed not having to pack a lunch and drop her at the camp each day. I got to stay up late and sleep in. It was a marvelous little break. I was incredibly glad to have her back home, though. That weekend we had a sleepover at the Mother’s house. Feebs and I had a hair appointment early, and then I was finally scheduled for my birthday facial. I got to my facial appointment and nothing. They didn’t have me on the schedule. Icamethisclose to crying right on the spot. I don’t cry, mind you, and I just got mad instead. Oh well, such is life. I am giving the Mother the gift card so she can use it for her next massage appointment. I kind of feel like the universe doesn’t want me to relax right now, so I will just wait till I am in a better place. The last day of the month was the celebration of life for the father in law. It was the usual ball of disorganized chaos that is tied to all of that family’s events, but it still ended up being very nice. I got to meet several of the Husband’s cousins and now I understand where his looks come from. Hilariously, he is the more petite cousin in the group, which I never thought possible. When we got home, we had a talk about some logistics that came up and we have decided that I am going to move my little campout spot in his office into the toy room. He made it clear that he wasn’t evicting me, but that we both agree that office was supposed to be set up for him. I have been craving some space to be etched out for me, so I am all good with it. I may also be acquiring a motorcycle… Standby for more details (July will be interesting).

So, that was it. It was a lot. Some really busy times are coming up, including my first solo trip in many years. LouHoo and family have moved to Montana, and I have a trip booked to go see her the last week of July. I am really excited. Also, Feebs turns 10 in a couple of weeks. I can’t believe my girl will be double digits. June was really good. Some parts were bittersweet, but as always, memories were made. I am in shock that half the year is over. The temperature is cranking up and the days are longer. Summer is well on her way. This month’s adventures are over, now on to the next.

Loves,

M

Lakeside Beach Wrap

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Oh my goodness, darling, I knit something fabulous! I don’t quite remember what inspired it, but I now have the cutest beach wrap, mesh pullover-y thing thing and I love it. Let me introduce the Lakeside Beach Wrap, by Knitatude. One of the main reasons that I love this wrap so much is that in addition to it being a super versatile piece, I used some recycled, really deep stash yarn. This yarn was a ripped out LL Bean 100% cotton sweater. I can’t remember if I ripped out the sweater or if it was one of the Ebay purchases that I bought years ago. The yarn is a natural color yarn and was quite spaghetti-esque because I never soaked and straightened it. I am generally nervous about knitting with the kinked yarn, because it can change the gauge when blocked and smoothed. I figured since this is an all-over lace pattern, and size really didn’t matter, that I was safe to knit as it was. Since the sweater was machine knit it is a 4 or 5 strand yarn. Not plied, mind you, but individual strands. This did make things a bit splitty, but not so bad that you noticed. I had about 600 grams of the yarn and it is a dk/ light worsted weight yarn. I believe their were 20 balls of yarn. The wrap used 245 grams, so I still have a ton of yarn left over. I knit the M/L size and I think it is a really good fit. The pattern called for size US 15 needles. I did cast on using those needles, but I wasn’t really happy with how loose and sloppy the lace was, so I ripped out about 3 inches and started over with size US 13 needles. I found that to be the perfect size. The pattern was very simple and potato chip-esque. The yarn worked perfectly in this pattern and the finished fabric is heavy enough to pull out the lace, but light enough to not be hot and bulky.

The negatives, if you can call them that are 1. the side seams- I need to fix the slit in the bottoms of the seam. I seamed them unevenly and it bugs me. 2. I found it weird that you went in blocks of 12 with either K2tog or SSK. I don’t understand the reasoning for mixing them up. I don’t see what difference it made to not just stick with one or the other. These are very minor issues, though, and I am so happy with my wrap.

I don’t know what justification I would have to knit another one of these for me, but I can totally see knitting this again! Maybe I will knit it and dye it black… hm… I may be onto something there. I will wear this over a bathing suite, over shorts and a tank, or over a summer dress. The pattern pictures showed every variation, and I can see me wearing them all. I think it will be so cute and I can see getting many compliments on it. I am just so excited to rock this wrap this summer!

Loves,

M

Flax- adult size (finally!)

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Hello Darling. I did it! Finally, after knitting eight kids versions, I have knit an adult size Flax sweater. I swear by Tin Can Knit patterns. They are my total tried and true, and no pattern more so than Flax. This is the very best beginner pattern for anyone wanting to knit a sweater. I think this pattern was discussed in my “favorite things to knit” post that I wrote a year or two ago. It is just a beautifully simple and easy to follow pattern. I could go on for years about the merits of this pattern. To date, I have knit at least eight kids Flax sweaters. I believe they have ranged from newborn to 7 years old. When I decided that I was going to knit a simple, yet elegant sweater to use some of my Amsterdam yarn, Flax was the one that came to mind. I doubled the Holst Garn Supersoft from Stephen & Penelope’s with the Knitting for Olive mohair that I got in Belgium in very dark charcoal colors. The combination of the yarns is heaven. The Holst Garn is very sturdy, boarding on scratchy. The soft airiness of the Knitting for Olive blended very well with the sturdy, and the resulting fabric is light and lofty. I think it is a very light but warm garment. Unfortunately, it was already too warm by the time it was finished to wear it. I will say that it took me a while to finish because I got caught on sleeve island, which is very rare for me, and I put it in timeout for a bit. I think as I got closer to the end of the month (May) I wanted to have another finished object to post about and that motivated me to get her off the needles. (This blog is really an excellent tool for that. You should be very proud of yourself!) I feel that aside from the brief hiatus that I put her in, everything went right with this sweater. I always omit the garter panel on the sleeve, because it just isn’t my vibe.

Nothing really went wrong with this sweater. My only possible negative may be the mohair. Jenny of the Future Fibers Podcast was talking, recently, about loving the concept of mohair more than the actual wearing of it. I have a sneaking suspicion that I am going to be in the same boat. I haven’t even tried it on yet, so I am completely guessing at this. I do recall thinking that it was a tiny big pokey as I was knitting it, and also that it sheds like what. Time will tell though.

Overall, she is magnificent and was just what I had in mind for a simple, yet beautiful luxury-type sweater. She looks liked quiet elegance and subtly expensive. I really love her. I really hope I love wearing her.

Loves,

M

Paris in Berlin

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Hello darling. I bought the pattern for the Paris in Berlin cowl in October, 2017. I was super gung ho to cast it on at the time, but hit some kind of snag and promptly dropped it. I don’t know what put a bee in my bonnet about casting it on on Mother’s Day, but I did and I am very glad for it. I purchased the yarn at the Royal Bee Yarn Co. in Pacifica. It was the first time I had been to their new location, and it is lovely. I wanted to buy a bunch of stuff there, but only allowed myself to get what I would cast on that day. I purchased their house brand fingering weight yarn in a lovely navy blue. The cowl took me seven days to knit. It was a very quick and easy pattern. Joji Locatelli always writes a lovely and detailed pattern. I don’t have a ton to say about the pattern or the cowl, other than I love them. The cowl is very versatile and lightweight. It will be perfect for the mid-season months where I want the security of a handknit, but not the weight or warmth. The yarn is a joy to knit with, I learned that when I used it to knit my Boxy sweater. It is sturdy and soft. I think it wears very well too. I haven’t worn my Boxy a lot, yet, but the wear it has received has been a good indication of a solid yarn. I can’t say that I would knit the pattern again for myself, but I wouldn’t hesitate to knit it again as a gift. The finished cowl is lovely, and has the luxury of being versatile with different yarn weights. I think you could knit it up a worsted weight yarn and still be happy with the size of it. Overall, I highly recommend everything about this project. It was a great pattern, solid yarn, and excellent finished accessory.

Loves,

M