2023 both flew by and took forever. I didn’t think I was overly ambitious with my goals from last year, but I didn’t meet several of them. This year hurt my heart and I think negatively affected my overall health. My word from last year was “Connections.” I wanted to connect with people, with my goals, with my own headspace. I felt ready to connect with the me that I would become in 2023. I think for 2024 I am going to be hopeful, but not set out to blaze trails. My word of the year is “Acceptance.” I want to accept the things that I can’t change. I want to make changes in my life that will allow me to process things in a healthy and effective way. Through acceptance, I hope to decrease my anxiety and let go of the things that are out of my control. I want to embrace change and allow the small struggles to pass by without fixating on them. Mostly, I want to accept happiness and wellness. I want them to be part of my daily life.
My Goals:
Knitting- I love to knit. It is my favorite sport and my best kind of therapy. 2023 saw a lot of false starts and frog ponds. In 2024, I want to work on things that really bring me joy. I want to work with lush and soothing fibers. I want to use my time to work on things that I enjoy knitting. I want to critically assess everything that I have on my needles and in my Ravelry queue and remove or rip out the things that I am no longer drawn to. I already have two gift knits in the planning stages. I want to knit a new sweater for the Father, and a top for the Mother. Harris ended up being a huge failure, as it was at least three sizes too big for the Father. It looks ridiculous on him, and as much as he tries to be happy with it, I know that it makes him uncomfortable to wear it. That was a huge knock to my confidence in selecting sizes. I have no idea what I will do with that sweater now. I can’t see the husband wearing it, even though it will probably fit him. I am considering removing the hand-sewn zipper and trying to felt it. Time will tell if I actually get the nerve to do it. If I don’t, I may just rip the whole thing out and reuse the yarn. Aside from that, I think the rest of the projects will be warm, cushy, and delicious. I am currently saving up to buy a 3D-printed circular sock machine. I love hand-knit socks more than anything, but my wrists don’t really enjoy knitting them. When I think of all the projects that I want to save my body for, socks just don’t top the list. I figure that if I can be successful at cranking tubes, I can still have hand-knit socks with less wear and tear on me. I have saved about half of the money needed to buy it. It isn’t quite as expensive as a good quality metal one (around $3000), but it is still around $700. The company is Dean & Bean. I am hopeful that it will be user-friendly and durable.
Patterns that I want to knit:
The Zipper Sweater by Petite Knits- this is the sweater for the Father
Hikari by Yamagara- this is the summer top for the Mother
The Levee shawl- to replace the one that I gifted to Sister #3
The Snuggle is Real cowl
Flax sweater for me using one of the mohair sweater quantities
Shatar vest- Finish this! I really want to wear it
A cabled sweater vest- pattern to be determined
Sewing- I tried to hype myself up all last year. Each month, I would post a sewing goal, and each month, I failed to achieve it. I got myself so anxious about sewing that I ended up not sewing anything the entire year. I don’t know why I have been so adamantly opposed to sewing, but I intend to change that in 2024. I think I will try to get away from setting goals and fixating on them. I will let myself find something to make and then just make it. I am trying to figure out if it was fear of messing up, or if it was just not wanting to push myself to learn something new. I ended up trashing the white denim skirt, and I honestly don’t regret it. I took one look at those darts and went blank. I cut out the fabric for Feebs’s dress, I thread marked everything, and got all set to sew. Then it sat there for months. The more I look at the fabric, the less I think that she will like this dress. I also waited so long that it may not even fit her when it is finished. I don’t want to get rid of it, but I don’t want to work on it. The best thing for me to do may be to just sew the dress, with no concern about the finished project. I can give it to the Cousin’s spawn, or it can go in the donate bin. I can learn new techniques and maybe get over myself a little bit. I also have a fantasy of using one of the nice cotton sheets to create an old man button-up jammie set. Maybe even a matching robe to go with it. I don’t want to dream of anything big, and I don’t want to keep hyping it up. I have the material, I have the machines, I just need to find the want to.
Health and wellness- there is a good chance that I am struggling with a touch of depression right now. I have not been exercising, I have not been eating well. I have been sleeping like garbage and have been able to hear my blood pumping through my veins on occasion. I have also been losing interest in things and living with an overall sense of dread. This is not good. I know this is not good. In the new year, I want to get back to moving my body. I generally let my eating habits slide a bit in December, so I am not mad at myself for doing so this year. But the lack of movement is another story. My body and brain need exercise. I need my heart rate to increase and my muscles to stretch. I need to work myself out so that I can lie down at night and let my mind relax. I am working on this. I am working on getting myself into the correct mindset to get moving again. It has been since the week before we went to Amsterdam that I stopped exercising regularly. I need to start up again. My at-home exercise options are pretty great. I can walk, ride my bike (street or garage), roller skate, dance, or do yoga. I can do mindfulness or meditation exercises. I need to once again embrace the feeling of calm that comes over me after a good workout. I need to work on my energy levels and on letting go of the things that I can’t control. I need to be more mindful. Acceptance is the key to keeping myself whole. I will accept that I can let go of all of the petty crap and small struggles. I will be more present for my family and friends and myself. I will stop building my own roadblocks. 2024 and I need to come to an agreement that in spite of the fact that I am Empress Magnificent, Ruler of the Universe, I only have control of myself and my actions. I am getting back into therapy, I am getting Feebs the support that she needs, and I am encouraging everyone around me to seek out the help they need.
Things I’d like to accomplish in 2024-
Create and stick with a goal-oriented budget, including putting more money in savings
Buy the Husband a new truck this year or early 2025
Purchase a circular sock machine and use it to work through the sock yarn bag stash
Do something with the front and back yard
Save for big purchases (wants) to pay for them in cash
Make the Husband’s big 50th amazing
I hope that is simple enough. I hope my goals are gentle and not too weighty. I hope that I can be kind to myself and allow me to make effective changes. That my acceptance can be a positive thing and not get twisted into a rut. I will continue to dream, and I will continue to plan, and I will meet all of the goals that I am able to. I will go into 2024 quietly and without force. We will get used to each other, and we will figure each other out as we go. Welcome, 2024. Let’s start our new adventure.
Loves,
M
Mrs. Collins Makes Stuff 