family

All the makes- August 2026

mmcollins107Leave a comment

Oh girl, I am so over this! I want a body-otomy- a full body replacement! The amount of limitations on things that I love, like knitting, curling up in my nest with my kitties, and working on this blog are being severely restricted due to the stupidity of my back. I generally can’t sit without pain for more than about 15 minutes at a time. It has done wonders for my daily step count, but absolutely sucks for any and all productive things. The last time I was not in pain was in February and that was a looong time ago. So yeah, I am done. All that to say that not much got done this month. There has been a little bit of knitting, but it all of the hexi variety.

Finished objects:

64 hexi-flats. I have taken to stringing them together in quantities of 50 so that it is easier to keep count as I go.

Works in progress:

Ladder tank

Fuzzy hat

Safran top

Goals for next month:

Start to organize holiday knitting

Knit 50 more hexi-flats

I am just going to keep add – set up CSM- maybe it will stick and I will finally do it

So the making portion of this post will be very short. The hexis are still the only thing on my needles and are at least bringing me joy. As much as I want to cast on a new sweater or start a pair of socks, it just isn’t in my cards right now. The hexis are small and portable and lite. I don’t have to hunch over the knitting or struggle with a bulky project. It isn’t the knitting that I want to do right now, but it is what I’ve got. I am very hopeful to get into see the surgeon soon so that we may finally have a fix.

The month was good. It started with a weekend at the Father’s house. That always means games and time spent with him and Feebs, making memories. The following week I had dinner with the Female McC. There is a lot going on in her house and her marriage, and she needed a friend to talk to. I am very hopeful that everything works out good for her. I got the second shot in my back to try to alleviate the pain. It lasted 12 whole hours before the pain was back. It was a lovely 12 hours, though. We also started 7th grade that week. It was devastating. I am NOT one of those mothers that counts the days till summer vacation is over. I dread every second that makes it draw near. My relationship with Feebs during her school breaks is so vastly different and pleasant. I have my sweet, happy girl during the breaks. Oh well, such is parenthood. That weekend we went to Red Bluff with the greater group. The ladies and I decided that our next trip needs to be man and child-free. While we love having our whole crew together, they killed the whole vibe. There was an incident, involving your girl over imbibing in red wine. I left what looked like a crime scene on the side of the road. It was horrible, and I intend to abstain from alcohol for a month, to hopefully clear my stomach and psyche of the incident. Other than that, the trip was lovely. I had treatment the following week. It went okay, but my veins are about to give up the ghost. It is getting harder and harder for them to find viable veins for the I.V. and even with they do, my veins will periodically burst and then they have to start over with a new site. Also, Wednesdays are becoming a little harder for me. I tend to feel puffy and crappy that day instead of getting a day of rest then having it hit on Thursday. At least the treatment is still working. I had book club with the peeps that Friday. Another wonderful evening out with my work family. I love them so much. We had a blessed weekend off, with nothing planned and nowhere to go. I don’t know if I ever fully got out of my jammies. I may have changed into workout clothes, the put on clean jams after that. It was glorious! I need to do that more often. The Father came for a visit the following week. It was very out of cycle for us. We took him to our Ethiopian restaurant, which everyone enjoyed. We played some games and had a nice visit. I had lunch with Sister #2 for our quarterly lunch, and to celebrate her birthday early. I love our lunches so much. Her family is doing great and and she and the man are adjusting to their new active life at the old folks home. The following day we had breakfast with the Husband’s best auntie and the cousin and child. The cousin and child were a surprise. It was really good to see them all, but it was a shame that I couldn’t get more of the scoop on what is happening. That is because I am a nosey bitch. That week was picture day and Back to School Night. We got some information on how the year will look and got to meet a couple of her teachers. I am very hopeful that this year will be drastically better than last year. That weekend we went to see the Greatest Band of All Time in San Francisco. It is the first time I have seen them since the birthday party, when I wowed everyone with how painfully awkward I am. I was kind of surprised that they acted happy to see me. We also hooked up with a group of the Husband’s friends from way before Feebs. I haven’t seen them in over a decade. I was really nice to see them, but a little odd. They are all childless 30-somethings and I didn’t have much to add to the conversations. I am just too cool like that, as a middle-aged, career woman, mom of a pre-teen. There I go again with my excellent social skills! Anyway, the show completely rocked, even though my back and leg hurt like royal fracking what. But when doesn’t it anymore? On the last day of the month, I had another lunch with the Female McC. I have a feeling we will be getting together much more now. She needs support and I want to be there for my friend.

Aside from my constant pain and whining, things are actually doing pretty good. I have a wonderful family, friends, and kitties. I love my husband and am very happy to have him in my life. Everyone is mostly healthy and doing well in their current situations. I can’t tell you how grateful I am to be in this life. I tell people all the time “I was born when I should be, where I should be, and to whom I should be” anytime some romanticizes other places/ times/ parents. It isn’t always easy, but I really do love my life.

I would love to post a Bingo Card update, but lets be real, nothing has been happening to add to it. I am hoping for at least one or two projects and checked boxes before the end of the year. Maybe even a sewing box. The possibilities may be endless if I can ever sit comfortably again. Hopefully I will get answers soon.

Loves,

M

All the makes- April- June 2026

mmcollins107Leave a comment

Well ain’t this some nonsense… Note to self: three months combined in one post is always indicative of some health bullshit gone awry. The last three months have been a combination of pain and an overall sense of not accomplishing a damn thing. That’s not entirely true, I did manage to knit the tiny bit of stuff, but nothing terribly post-worthy. I am still undergoing medical treatment, so I am very hopeful that my (timely) upcoming posts will have more making and less complaining. Sciatica, and aging overall, is complete crap.

Finished objects:

Two charity/ gift/ donate hats, using my ribbed hat pattern and a combo of leftover Queensland Collection Sunshine Coast, from my most recent Weekender, and some KnitPicks Stroll. (Take my word for it, there are two of them)

New cast-ons:

Ladder Tank (April)

Fuzzy Ribbed Hat (May)

Saffron Top (May)

Hexipuff Memories (June)

Goals for next month:

Let’s go crazy and say complete 50 hexipuffs

Get my pain under control so that I can get back to my life

Explore new core exercise options that will strengthen my core AND work with my back issues

Rip out my Knitting My Memories blanket and wind into balls

I am sad to report that I cannot sit comfortably in any chair in my house, so, two hats and a few hexipuffs are what I completed in three months. I did make some good headway on the Saffron Top in June, but I knew I wasn’t going to make my goal and set it aside because and I needed a portable project for our trip to the mid-west. The hexipuff solution was exactly what I needed. They are quick and easy and incredibly portable. I also think they will come together nicely. I won’t join them until I feel like I have enough for a decent sized blanket. This way I can put the colors into a pattern that I like. I also intend to knit half hexis so that I don’t have wobbly edges on the finished blanket. I don’t think I will like the finish otherwise. At this point, I have knit up almost two of my mixed balls of sock yarn. I still need to rip out what I have of the first blanket and wind that yarn back into balls. I want to finish my Saffron top before the next sister’s lunch so that I can show them top I knit with the yarn I bought with them in March. Sadly, that is all I have to say on the making front.

April was pretty good. I started the month with Book Club. I am so very happy our little group has started this. I love them so much and love that we take this time to connect outside of work. It was also Easter that weekend. We did the usual umbrella and boots with a mini egg hunt. Feebs loved it. That week she had Spring break, which she also loved. We went to the Father’s that following weekend and had a great time with him. If memory serves, Feebs and Dad won most of the dollars. The next weekend, the Husband and I had a nice date night. We went to Horatio’s, which always reminds me of Grandpa. It was a lovely dinner and evening out. The following weekend was our work weekend for the Female O’s birthday. Her ask for her birthday was that we help organize the garage. The Male O was not excited. We dug in and it only took a day of hard work and negotiations. The end result was amazing and she was so happy. He even said it wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be. I call that a success! I finally got some temporary relief on my back in the last week of the month with a steroidal epidural injection. It lasted a blissful three weeks before the pain came back. I believe I have to have 1- 2 more injections before they will look at doing an ablation. I have been doing PT faithfully since March, but it doesn’t really seem to be helping, at least, not with the pain. At this point I want a full back replacement.

May was also good. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to help the Husband with refinishing the porch floor on the first weekend, but he did a really nice job. I got to have a mammogram the following week, which was thankfully clear, followed by Book Club. Good times were had by all. We also took the Mother and I out for a nice dinner for Mother’s Day. Overall Mother’s Day was very nice. We had some adventures and a delicious meal cooked by the Husband. That week was very busy with dinner with Ms. Laura and another night of dinner with Ms. Cheryl. We had a birthday party for the Little Clay, who turned 12. I felt like trash, so the Husband took her to the party. We also started to wrap up the school year with Open House and the mad dash catch up on all of her missing assignments. My infusion appointments were that week, so that is always fun. The following weekend, we had an adult girl’s only trip in Red Bluff. We had the very best time. I am still trying to wrap my head around the financial decisions that some people make, but the girls appreciated my comical meltdowns. We all went home in time to have the Memorial Day holiday as a day to rest and recoup. And guess what we finally did… We bought a new car. We decided to not buy the truck, because we just couldn’t figure out a decent ROI on cost versus savings. We bought the Husband a Subaru Crosstrek Hybrid. Naturally, it is storm cloud gray, but it is what he picked out. The stress over the new car purchase is finally lifted. The Father came for a visit that week, which is always nice. Ironically, he had recently purchased a new small SUV as well. I don’t think he has ever not owned a truck. It is the ending of an era.

And then it was June. And thank God, finally the end of school. I am not sure if Feebs was more excited, or me. We made it and she didn’t fail any of her classes. Blissful Summer break began! That weekend, I had lunch with Sister #2, which is always lovely. The following weekend, the Husband went camping (he actually left us for couple of day!) and Feebs and I had dinner with Kennard. I absolutely love those guys and am so grateful for their friendship. The Husband had a lovely camping trip without “help”. The following weekend we went camping with the O’s. I must say, it wasn’t half bad. We tried a new spot and it was really nice. There were, of course, porta-potties (yuck), but overall the whole campground was great. Three of the four adults agreed that we will go back next summer. The Husband was, of course, the outlier. He was too hot. Honestly, darling, he is always too hot. The Father came that week for a visit and we took him to Feebs’s favorite pupusa place. He loved it. That weekend we had sister lunch in Napa and got to shop through all of Sister #3’s clothes that she was getting rid of. I can’t tell you how happy I am that we have started to so this. It makes my heart happy to have a relationship with all of them again. Then the remainder of the month was just getting ready for our trip. It was a lot or pre-packing and pre-booking (thank you, Husband!). We went to bed early on the last day of the month so that we could begin our adventures at 3 AM on July 1.

I know that this is incredibly abridged, especially since it captures three months, but that is what happens when so much time has passed. I am sure that I forgot many of the highlights and wonderful visits. I hate to be so whiny, but damn this sucks. I am still grateful for my family and friends. I am grateful that I was able to make an appointment to get a second injection (though it is in August). I am grateful to reconnect with all of my sisters. I am grateful for my very patient and understanding boss and the job that I get to call mine. I am grateful that there is forward movement on all of my health issues. Overall, I am just grateful for my life.

Loves,

M

Reviewing 2025

mmcollins107Leave a comment

It is time to review my year.  2025 was a good year, and a vast improvement over 2024.  While it wasn’t without its issues, I am still very grateful for all of the good things that happened.

Finished objects- Knitting:

  • Coffee sweaters- 6
  • Hats- 16
  • Sock pairs- 2
  • Scarves/ shawls- 2
  • Tops- 1
  • Sweaters- 2

Finished objects- Sewing

  • Bookmark cuffs- 3
  • Apron- 1
  • Hose sleeves- 7

It doesn’t seem like very much when you compare it to previous years, but I am proud of my accomplishments.  I lost my knitting mojo for several months, and sewing has always been a struggle for me.  I feel like I was able to overcome the funk that I was in regarding making in general.  I am keeping my goals for next year fairly simple so that I don’t feel like I am letting myself down for not accomplishing/ creating great things. At the beginning of the year I set a goal on Ravelry of 20 finished objects.  I technically did achieve this, but since I grouped some of the hats and coffee sweaters, it doesn’t look like I did.   I will say that overall, I enjoyed the things that I made this year.  The Dr. Who- Tom Baker scarf, reknit socks for Feebs, and the hose sleeves were long ago promised projects that were completed this year.  They are scratched off of the list and I don’t have to think of them again.  I have made the Husband everything he has asked for.  Feebs has requested a hat/ scarf/ fingerless glove set, so I will start that in the new year, but that is a very new request.  Everything else that she has asked for is completed.  The Father didn’t ask for anything this year, so I will wait for a request before I start anything for him. I did complete a couple of little projects, like dying the denim jumper and some mending.  They were such small things that I didn’t document them, but I am always excited when I mend something and make it work again.

The rest of life in 2025 was good too.  The year started out rough, health-wise.  I was very scared that the issues that I dealt with in 2024 would continue forever.  When things started to correct in March, the feeling of relief felt by my whole family was immense.  By June, my mental fog was starting to lift and I felt like I may not die young-ish after all.  Fingers crossed that continues.  We got the Mother through her surgery and subsequent health issues.  Fingers are also crossed that 2026 brings her a full recovery.  Something that completely fell off was my exercise routine.  I have given myself some leeway on this, since my brain and body went offline for a year.  In the new year, however, that nonsense has to stop. It’s time to saddle up and get moving again.

I feel like I am in a better place at work and have begun the process of accepting the things that I have no control over.  Don’t get me wrong, I still spend an unhealthy amount of my day dreaming of winning the lottery and calling in rich and retired, but I am finding my groove again.  Once upon a time, I loved my job and I need to get back to that place.

We spent time with friends and family and strengthened some connections.  I made it a point to communicate with my loved ones better about my needs and what I was going through.  I still felt like a constant kill joy and struggled with how to answer “so, how are you doing?”.  I got so tired of bringing down the entire vibe of a conversation with my constant negative news, but I did end up finding some balance, overall.

I have goals for next year that will put us in a better position, financially.  But I did pretty well in that category this year.  I met my savings goal, and we are on track to buy the new truck for the Husband next summer.  I have identified the areas that I need to work on saving for in 2026 and will embrace better financial organization.  I intend to keep us on the same budget plan as last year, in regards to dining out and not spending so much unnecessary money.  The dining out savings that we had from 2024 to 2025 was almost $10,000.  That was very eye opening.  I intend to not let it get that out of control again.  We did the majority of our big house project this year and that was much chaos and very much expense.  I am grateful that it is done and our house is secure and good to go for another 30+ years.  We still have projects to finish in order to call it completely done.  I need to recover from spending that much money though, first.

My word for 2025 was Home.  I ended 2024 wanting to embrace feeling at home, both physically and metaphorically.  I wanted to feel at home in my mind and body again and not be so scared of myself.  I wanted to feel at home at work and not like I was losing my role there.  I wanted to feel like I was at home in the relationships that I have with people.  I really drew inward in 2024 and let some relationships drift away.  I also wanted to physically be home more.  My family is only three people, but we are always incredibly busy and on the move.  I wanted to make the intention to stay home more often.  We did much better than previous years, but there is always room for improvement.  I think in 2026 I may actually block one weekend per month on our calendar to ensure that we are staying home.  I actually went looking for my past words of the year and found that I started doing this in 2020.  I simply had to find them all and reminisce on what happened during those years.  I hope I never stop identifying my word of the year.

  • 2020- Growth
  • 2021- Breathe
  • 2022- Boundaries
  • 2023- Connections
  • 2024- Acceptance
  • 2025- Home

Looking back at all of those years and what took place during them was an emotional roller coaster. The fact that in late 2019 I wanted growth, only to be completely stifled in 2020 was a hard memory to dig up. The irony of Acceptance in 2024, when my body and mind completely conspired against me and I thought I was going to die and had to accept all of the hell that came with it. I hope that my 2026 word will be good and bring about something positive. This year was good and I am looking forward to all of the good that is coming.

Loves,

M